I came across an intriguing comment while scrolling social media the other day. The post said something along the lines of, “Do not use the story of Job to invalidate your feelings”. And I found that to be an interesting point of discussion. If you’re not familiar, Job is a man in the Bible who was extremely wealthy and seemed like he had it all. Until he didn’t. He lost his family, his wealth, and his health. Despite losing everything, he still remained faithful to God and never cursed His name.

That statement put me in a state of reflection, because I began to analyze the way I behave during times of hardship. I tend to inadvertently compare my situation to others, when I’m faced with a rough patch in life. Subconsciously I think, “It doesn’t seem like anyone but myself is faced with this specific issue.” And it leads me to the question of, why do we use others to validate our feelings? And to what extent is the act of comparison, detrimental to our own mental health and validation of feelings? We often use religion as a source of comfort by referring to people like Job, who have experienced insurmountable grief. But is it healthy to compare our struggles to the struggles of others, even biblical figures? Let’s talk about it. 

As people we all encounter rough patches, grief, depressive thoughts, and other struggles at some point in our life. It’s just something that is completely unavoidable, especially with the way society is today. Knowing that, we have all developed mechanisms, whether subconsciously or not, for dealing with those feelings. I grew up in a Christian household and admittedly I find myself often referring to words of scripture as a source of comfort. I also tend to read quotes and even reach out to friends and family about how I’m feeling. Seldomly I’m met with responses such as, “It could be worse” or “Be thankful for what you do have”. And while those responses are true, they also indirectly negate my feelings. Which is why I feel our hardships can sometimes linger longer than they should. It’s not that I’m not grateful for the things I do have, but me knowing that fact does not change how I currently feel. And that is the point I am trying to get across. 

Ultimately, statements such as those indirectly compare our lives to others. And this becomes problematic because the attention is taken away from your issues and shifted towards someone or something else. And no matter the point, it is not a healthy practice longterm. There will always be someone out there who has it worse than you. We know this and it should easily go without saying. So do not say things like this. I believe the key is to face your issues head on, in a comforting manner that suits you. You ultimately want to find ways to put your mind at ease. So start simple. Even if it’s just writing down in a journal, “I got this” or “I can do this”. Any attempt will help, and you won’t know until you try.

It can be so easy to get lost in comparing our life to others. Whether it be through social media, entertainment outlets, or just casually out and about. But it is imperative to know that no matter where you are in life, you are doing just fine. I always try to remind myself of this with not only words, but by actions. No one is going to love you, like you. So love on yourself. Encourage yourself. And tell yourself you are doing the best you can. I am a firm believer that life was not meant to be taken so seriously. So relax, be patient. Your time will come.

-Bri ✌️

Photo by Kaique Rocha: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-hanging-bridge-surrounded-by-green-forest-trees-775201/