If you’re not careful, consistency can become this toxic practice that results in self-manipulation and gaslighting. I know that’s a lot to dissect, so let’s talk about it. 

It’s been a few weeks, maybe even a month, since my last post and I’ve been dealing with a lot of self-guilt because of it. At the beginning of the year, my goal was to be ‘consistent’ and have at least one blog post every week. Due to life circumstances, lack of motivation, and a number of other excuses, I have not been able to put my best foot forward to produce quality content. My initial thought processing allowed me to believe that I just needed to push through, even if times were tough. However, for some reason this logic did not feel like the correct remedy for my issue and I began to question: What does consistency actually look like?

I don’t think there’s a simple answer to this question because there are many forces that influence our thought processes and how our mind reacts to those influences. Society tells us that we should ‘grind it out’ or ‘man up’ or ‘push through’. And when we practice this form of gaslighting, we are not able to handle the consequences of it. Because it’s not healthy. And the moment we fall out of the consistency, our mind begins to race, the anxiety brews, and it brings about this feeling of inadequacy. And it doesn’t help when you are in a funk and scroll social media to see success stories of how someone else was able to ‘grind’ their way into a fruitful situation. It’s a lot to process and that’s normal.

I’m not going to lie and say that there are successful people who don’t work hard or sacrifice. But overall we need to rid our minds of the thought that consistency is this stagnant, unchanging process that can possibly feel miserable sometimes. Because it’s not. Consistency should and can be healthy, but it requires some inner work, planning, and rewarding. Practicing inner work to learn and understand your triggers can be helpful in performing a healthy form of consistency. Learn about yourself, explore the possibilities, and do not conform to what others tell you. Listen to your body and what feels good. When you feel comfortable enough in that, plan your goals and what you hope to accomplish. And finally, reward yourself for the small milestones you achieve. Rewarding can go a long way. 

Ultimately, you are in control of your own happiness. So only you can define what consistency truly looks like. I always talk about being on a path or journey, because I find it to be such a great analogy. The journey that we are on is never stagnant. It’s filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. We can’t always account for the things that life throws at us. That alone should dismantle the whole consistency argument. Forget about what society tells you. Forget about not fitting in. Forget about comparing yourself to others (we know how detrimental that can be). Instead, find balance and do what feels right. Be kind to yourself and do the best you can. My mom would always tell me, “As long as you do your best, nothing else really matters.”

Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing women in our life. 

-Bri ✌️

Photo by Kubra K.: https://www.pexels.com/photo/wood-road-landscape-summer-16762575/