The golden rule we learn growing up is to, “Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you”. Ingenuously, I took that rule to heart and expected everyone to uphold it to the same standards as I did. And boy was I wrong. Not only will there be people who won’t treat you with the same decency and respect as you give, but there are some to deviously go out of their way to disrespect, or even undermine everything you stand for. And this is something I’m struggling with more as I get older. I’m currently experiencing an imbalance of self blame with expecting too much out of people, in combination with the assumption, as well as optimism, that everyone is or can be a “good” person. But in reality, it’s simply just not true. So how can I mitigate this issue? How would you? Let’s talk about it. 

How would you define a “good” or “moral” person? What do they look like? What characteristics do they possess? When I was younger, the answer to those questions were clear cut obvious. I would say that a good person is someone who does nice things for others. Or puts someone elses feelings before their own. While that is somewhat true, I now find the lines to be blurred when answering these questions. And this is because people are so unique and can possess many qualities at once. Both “good” and “bad” ones. There are “bad” people out there who put others before themselves. And there are “good” people who don’t. It’s what makes us human. Our weakness and strength. Our imperfect perfection. Our hope and despair is that we are awfully good, at being human. 

Because of that, our expectations of others are not justifiable. Even if they show us various personalities or behaviors, the fact remains that we are human and therefore imperfect. I think it is unrealistic and unreasonable to expect people to act a certain way towards us. And to be honest it’s a bit selfish as well. So now the question becomes, how do we handle the imperfections of others while simultaneously protecting ourselves and our own hearts? Truthfully, I’m not sure how to answer that question. Nor do I think there is a straightforward answer to the question. But instead, it teaches me that I need to have more patience, be more understanding, and to not solely rely on others to make or break my own happiness. When your mind and heart is in the right place, the rest will follow.

To be clear, I’m not out here to defend the world’s purposefully morally corrupt, but rather show that we are all human. We all do wrong and we all mess up and we all have flaws about us. Let people be who they are as you continue to be who you are. Don’t let the immaturity of others stunt your growth, but instead use it to empower your life and the things that you dream of. Worrying about the actions of others, should have no direct impact on your life. My advice for handling inconsistency, is to take a step back and distract yourself with a task. The productivity of the task is irrelevant as the goal is to just find a distraction. You can only account for your own actions, so be as good of a person to not only others, but yourself as well. Be the good that gives you hope in this world.

-Bri ✌️ 

Photo by Ahmed ツ: https://www.pexels.com/photo/wooden-footpath-and-mountain-behind-18079755/